Top 20 Funny Quotes with Funny Logic

Amazing Funny Quotes with Funny Logic

Life is really short so don't take it seriously, just try to live your life with full Swing and laugh with our amazing Funny Quotes collection of twenty different authors, These Quotes will bring Great smile on your face so get ready to smile and enjoy these lovely quotes. 

20 Funny Quotes 

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Margaret Mead

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

Ron White

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Lana Turner

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Mark Twain

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Jim Carrey

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Oscar Levant

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Ellen DeGeneres

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.

W. H. Auden

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

Anthony Burgess

I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It's chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

Paul Simon

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

Benjamin Franklin

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Henry A. Kissinger

Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.

James A. Garfield

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.

Bill Hicks

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Chris Rock

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

Henny Youngman

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Robin Williams

Life is hard. After all, it kills you.

Katharine Hepburn

Top Ten Funny Facts of Life Quotes

Crazy Thoughts of  Funny Facts of Life Quotes

Funny Facts of Life

Each of us have some experience of Funny facts of life which sometime surprise us and give us time or moment to laugh, Here in this post i bring Top ten Funny facts of Life Quotes by Popular Philosopher. So if you also experience these kinds of facts in your life please share with us in comment box and let the other people to laugh and enjoying that moment. 

Top Ten Funny Facts of Life 

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. 

Rita Rudner-

In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep. 

Anonymous-

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Walter Bagehot-

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing. 

Henry Louis Mencken-

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. 

Simpsons-

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. 

Sam Levenson-

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. 

Charles M. Schulz-

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen-

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. 

Louis Hector Berlioz-

In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it. 

Anonymous-

Best Funny Marriage Jokes 2015

Funny Chemistry Between Husband and Wife

Ultimate Marriage Jokes

Top Ten Funny Marriage Jokes Collection where, husband and wife have really cute conversation with eachother. So enjoy beautiful Funny argument between Husband and Wife.

Lion bounced on wife

In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA-Yes Yes.I'm changing d battery of my camera..

LOVE YOUR HUSBAND Because...

LOVE YOUR HUSBAND

When he orders you to make tea or coffee.
He wants to feel fresh to listen to your nostop talks.

Love him if he looks at all the beautiful females.
He is just checking that you are still the best.

Love him if he criticize your cooking.
He is still improving his taste.

Love him if he snores at night and disturbs your sleep.
He is trying to prove that he is the most relaxed person after being married to you.

Love him if forgets to give you a gift on your birthday.
He is saving money for future.

Love him Because...
You don't have a Choice...
and killing is a legal offense

Throwing knives on wife's picture

Husband throwing knives on wifes picture.
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her

"Hi,wat ru doin?"
His honest reply,"MISSING U"

A successful man

A successful man is one
who makes more money
than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one
who can find such a man.

Part & art of living

Having "WIFE" Is A
Part Of Living...

But

Having "GIRLFRIEND"
Along With The "WIFE" Is
Art Of Living

Head & Neck of the family

It is said that Husband is the head of the family,
But
Remember that wife is the Neck of the family.
& the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants. :)

I will think about it

When a married man says- "I'll think about it",

What he really means that,
He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.. :-P
Lolz

You cant stop yourself to Laugh

Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.

Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:-because main itni khushi
bardasht nahin ker sakta:D

5 funny facts of life

Having 1 child makes you a parent
but having 2 makes you a refree.

Marriage is a relationship in which 1 person is always right
and the other is always husband.

You can't buy love
but you pay heavily for it.

Wife and husband always compromise,
husband admits that he's wrong and wife too agrees with him.

Our language is called the mother tongue
because the father never gets a chance to Speak.!:p